Eric Cooper for President: Scandal!

Monday, March 10, 2008

Scandal!

We have had a scandal! An imposter of Vice Presidential candidate Mr. Michael Mullaney faked a resignation letter! This is a great treachery! Due to this inconvenience, the Eric Cooper Campaign extends their sincerest apologies to Mr. Mullaney. Mr. Mullaney will be re-added to the poll and his votes from the previous poll (11) will be added onto the votes he gets in the new poll. The same goes for Mr. Reale and Ms. Caudill. Therefore, despite the numbers you see in the new poll, those poll numbers will be added to our previous results, which are:

Mr. Michael Mullaney: 11

Mr. Aaron Reale: 9

Mrs. Lauren Caudill: 8

5 comments:

Micah E. said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; March 10, 2008 at 5:50 PM
Anonymous said...: Infighting?; March 10, 2008 at 5:52 PM
Michael Au-Mullaney said...: I commend Dr. Cooper for rectifying the situation! And I thank you, please all my supporters spread the word! Quigley will not be trampled!; March 10, 2008 at 6:10 PM
Anonymous said...: Eric,
I am not married; March 12, 2008 at 1:34 PM
Anonymous said...: ha ha ha. so, you saw my prank huh? well, lets see if you can track me down!; March 18, 2008 at 9:34 AM

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Welcome!

Hello all, and welcome to the official blog campaigning for Eric Cooper and Charles Silas (Chuck) Hathaway as the next president/vice president of the United States. This tandem is the epitome of a dying breed, the unique breed of superb intelligence and leadership qualities that could revolutionize a disintegrating nation. We know you will be impressed as you read on and see the tandem's agenda for their imminent presidential administration.

PARTY: Independent

AGENDA:

1. Weapons of mass destruction? The solution is easy. Get rid of them before they get rid of us. They have weapons of mass destruction, but so do we. Her name is Natasha Armstrong. She's a better weapon of mass destruction than every nuc in the world put together. Therefore, my number 1 priority as President will be to take over Iran, North Korea, and Iraq by deploying WMD-NA (Weapon of Mass Destruction-Natasha Armstrong) to the specified areas. Her mere prescence would scare the terrorists to the point of suicide. I wonder why Bush hasn't thought of this brilliant idea already...?

2. Take over Saudi Arabia using our national WMD so we can achieve Nicole Bianchi's goal of making "our own foreign oil". I mean, it would technically be our own foreign oil. Technically.

3. Merge Canada and Mexico into the United States to 1) Expand my jurisdiction and 2) Once and for all halt the issue of illegal immigration! I mean, if we make all illegal Canada and Mexico part of the US, all of their immigrants wouldn't have to come illegally because they'd already be citizens, right...?

4. Eliminate all taxes. All national funding will come from the money stockholds we capture when we take over Iran, Iraq, North Korea, Canada, and Mexico. If we take over these nations, then we get their money. Hence, no need for taxes. Now you REALLY want me to be your president :D.

5. National debt? Easy answer. MINT MORE MONEY! Then pass federal laws prohibiting price escalation. That way the worth of money will be kept consistent and everyone will get richer! ^-^

6. Reform our education system so that 1) the Federal government would pay for all college students and 2) Students would only have to get a 50% grade average to pass every single test they take. I mean, it wouldn't make every stupid. Stupid is a relative term. If everyone in the US is a 50% student, then nobody is stupid, right...?

7. Federally fund a NASA pioneer expedition and plant space stations on Mars and the moon, thus expanding our borders and wealth. And get the Martians as allies.

8. Make homeschooling legal in all fifty states.

AGE ISSUE
- Thus far into my Presidential campaign, I have been asked numerous times about the age violation that my campaign is imposing. My answer is the Constitution. I am a strict Constitutionalist, and according to the Constitution, I should be able to run for President at any given age. There is a difference between the principles in the Constitution and the policies in the Constitution; The policies should be derived from the principles, and if the policies violate the principles, the policies should be rescinded. The 35 year-old rule violates our principle of freedom and equailty. All Americans are Americans, and thus no American is more of an American than anyone else. Hence, all Americans have a uniform set of rights, because of their equality. If John McCain has the right to run for President, so do I. If Rush Limbaugh has the right to vote, so do you, regardless of age.

Administration Members

PRESIDENT: Eric Cooper
VICE PRESIDENT: Silas "Chuck" Hathaway
9 SUPREME COURT MEMEBRS: Josiah Weekley, Josiah Weekley, Josiah Weekley, Josiah Weekley, Josiah Weekley, Josiah Weekley, Josiah Weekley, Josiah Weekley, and Josiah Weekley!!!!!!!!!
ATTORNEY GENERAL: Jonathan Fiore
BODY GUARD GENERAL: David Frye III
BODY GUARD TEAM: Daniel Smith, Eric Weber, Kris Weber, Evan Bolton, Sean McElwee, Peter Fiore, Isaac Matson, Caleb Matson
CAMPAIGN PASTOR: My Grandaddy!!!
FOREIGN RELATIONS COORDINATOR: Nicole Bianchi
ADVISORY COMMITTEE: Peter Hathaway, Aidan Hathaway, Aaron Cooper, Eric Weber, David Frye III, Michael Smith, Aaron Reale
INTERNATIONAL SPIES: Sam Evans, Peter Fiore
MEDIA RELATIONS COORDINATOR: Jess Benham
MINISTER OF PROPAGANDA: Jeremy Zimmerman
PRESIDENT OF THE SENATE: Jeremiah Weekley
PRIMARY NATIONAL SECURITY WEAPON: Natasha Armstrong
SECRETARY OF DEFENSE/MILITARY OPERATIONS: Aaron Reale
SECRETARY OF STATE: Aidan Hathaway
SECRETARY OF THE TREASURY: Michael Smith
SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE: Nico Salvitti
VICE PRESIDENT: Silas Hathaway

Eric Cooper for President

Monday, March 10, 2008

Scandal!

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